A List of Things I Haven’t Written About Yet

–       the yellow butterfly eggs we always found on the swing set

–       the noise my nanny’s sandals made when she ran through the house

–       the way I was afraid my stuffed animals would come to life and kill me, so I created a rotating schedule so that I could sleep with a different one every night, so that none of them would fall into a insane jealous murdering rage from being neglected. I had about three weeks worth of stuffed animals to go through.

–      living in a house full of ghosts

–       the aliens are coming and you watch the ship descend into your swimming pool

–       the way I used to shoplift small yellow potatoes from the mall when I was young

–        the family in Tijuana that lived in the wooden shack by the basketball court

–       a recipe. I’ve never written a recipe.

–       a fake autobiography of a 13th-century biologist

I have a fantasy of one day writing an epic Umberto Eco-esque book about this man, Lazzaro Spallanzani, whose name and story I have never forgotten from my freshman year Biology 101 Class.

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